On Christmas Day 10 years ago, our 21-year-old child came out to us as a transgender woman. She told us her preferred name was Sarah, and her pronouns were she/her/hers.
We were so scared that she would face discrimination and her safety would be compromised. Over the next several days, she patiently answered all of our questions about what it meant to be transgender and her journey over the past 15 years. She had known since she was 5 years old that her true, authentic self was female but had hidden that fact from everyone. She felt that her gender identity and her dreams for her future were mutually exclusive and that she also didn’t want to disappoint us. We told her we loved and respected her, admired her for the courage and resiliency it took to keep her truth inside for so long and then to finally come out. We assured her that we would support her in whatever way she needed.
Two years later, we found ourselves along with Sarah traveling down to Legislative Hall once a week for six months to lobby for the Gender Identity Nondiscrimination Act. The bill provided protections for transgender people in the areas of housing, insurance, the workplace and public accommodations. We felt that it was important for the legislators to see us as a loving and accepting family with an accomplished, bright and compassionate transgender daughter and to appeal to them as parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and like them, all we wanted was for our child to be treated with fairness, dignity and respect and for our child to be happy, healthy and fulfilled.
That experience was one of the most amazing and, at the same time, one of the most difficult things we have ever done. For hours, we listened to the opponents of the bill call transgender people “freaks” and spread misinformation based on ignorance and fear. They testified that, if the bill passed, men would dress up as women, so they could enter women’s restrooms to assault little girls. The head of the Child Predator Unit in the Delaware Attorney General’s Office testified that, in her 28 years in that unit, she had never encountered such a case. The reality is that most child predators are family members or friends of the family.
The bill passed in June of 2013, and transgender people were finally protected from discrimination in our state.
Fast-forward eight years, the sky hasn’t fallen, and lawsuits have not been filed as the opponents predicted, and to ensure further protections against discrimination for transgender and gender-diverse students in our schools, the Christina School District has passed and the Red Clay School District is considering student-centered policies that respect and protect transgender and gender-diverse kids.
Red Clay recently announced a proposed policy, 8005, that outlines a learning environment that is supportive and affirming, and protects students from discrimination. This policy is an important step in creating a culture in our schools in which transgender and gender-diverse students feel safe, supported and fully included. Passing this policy will send a clear message that all students, regardless of their gender, have a right to express themselves in ways that honor diversity, value differences and encourage self-expression. We are in full support of this policy.
With a mental health crisis exploding among our children, with hundreds of anti-transgender bills being introduced in many states across this country, now is the time to act. In addition, statistics tell us that 40% of transgender people attempt suicide, 40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ, and many transgender and gender-diverse youth suffer from depression and are bullied.
Policy 8005 has incredible statewide support. Organizations who support this proposal include the American Civil Liberties Union of Delaware, CAMP Rehoboth, the Delaware chapter of the National Organization for Women, Delaware United, EqualityDelaware, Nemours Children’s Health’s Gender Wellness Program, Network Delaware, Orgullo Delaware, PFLAG Wilmington, Planned Parenthood of Delaware, PTK Delaware and the United Way of Delaware’s PRIDE Council.
We ask our neighbors from across the state to protect Red Clay’s transgender and gender-diverse students by submitting a letter in support of Policy 8005 at ACLU of Delaware’s website or showing up at Richardson Park Elementary School on today to attend the 7 p.m. school board meeting and submit a public comment. Anyone who wishes to submit a public comment in person at the meeting should fill out Red Clay’s public comment form ahead of time.
All three of our children attended Red Clay schools. Sally is one of the co-founders of the Cab Calloway School of the Arts and was inducted into the Red Clay Hall of Fame in 2018. We love Red Clay and know that the Red Clay board will do the right thing and pass Policy 8005.
David McBride is a partner at Young Conaway Stargatt & Taylor. Sally McBride is co-chair of PTK Delaware (Parents of TransKids), a support group for parents of transgender and gender-diverse kids.
