By Patricia C. Thompson
It’s a good year to tweak our views of Valentine’s Day.
In light of recent challenges to the psyche and the wallet, the following three concepts may help reduce pressure and add nuances to this Valentine’s Day, given pandemic factors.
The three Es are:
• Extend the spirit of lovingkindness to embrace the full month of February, while also reaching out to more than just one special someone.
• Expand the Valentine’s celebration to include some self-care, whether you are spending it solo or in a relationship or caring family.
• Enjoy the season creatively with some free, affordable or new approaches to add to the traditional favorites of cards, candy, food and flowers.
Origins of Valentine’s Day
According to many accounts, Emperor Claudius II of third-century Rome created laws limiting what Christians could do, while also decreeing that soldiers could not marry. Instead, they were to be fully devoted to duty and Rome.
Believing in love and marriage, the Catholic priest Valentine secretly began to perform marriages for these soldiers. For this, he was imprisoned and, while there, helped care for his fellow prisoners, as well as the jailer’s blind daughter.
As the account goes, he cured the girl’s blindness and, as his last act, sent her a message signed with his name — in essence sending the first Valentine. He was executed Feb. 14 in 270. Since then, certain faiths have observances in honor of the canonized St. Valentine.
With this in mind, Valentine’s Day is not only a time to celebrate romantic love but also friendship, family and those we admire. In fact, one of the best gifts for those who are not in need may be to share a token of their love first but then to collaborate with spouse, partner or family members to select a cause or charity for donations of funds, goods or time.
Options for Feb. 14
Whether alone or with others, when your own Valentine celebration time arrives, here are some tips.
By the way, simply paying attention to others with loving words, cards with handwritten notes, favorite treats, leisurely phone calls or extended time together will feed many a hungry heart.
Or try these:
• Have a mood-boosting start by treating yourself, plus any others in the household, to a healthy breakfast, whether it’s homecooked, delivered or picked up curbside. Tip: Often breakfast and lunch are easier on the budget than some dinners, and a nutritious start helps others feel happy versus “hangry” (hungry and angry).
• To sustain a good vibe, play some up-tempo tunes (but skip sentimental songs if alone).
• Seek out YouTube videos like “Put a Little Love in Your Heart,” originally with Jackie DeShannon, who shares powerful food for thought.
• Pull up “‘What the World Needs Now’ for Virtual Orchestra” on YouTube. Seeing this showstopping, creative blend of diverse singers, musicians and dancers, as they each perform the familiar “Love, Sweet Love” favorite, might just inspire us to be the love.
• Hear a reassuring hymn/sacred song, appropriate since Feb. 14 falls on a Sunday this year. In fact, during COVID-19, many houses of worship are either open and welcome visitors or are streaming live, posting on YouTube, etc.
• Sing your happiest song aloud. This also stimulates the vagus nerve and can boost holistic health and mood, according to many studies.
Lasting gifts
Books can be a great antidote to winter doldrums for singles, couples or families. Many nonfiction and fiction works, if read aloud, can brighten mealtimes or evenings. Bonus benefit: They offer some new talking topics and expand the mind.
Recommended nonfiction books from your library, bookshop or online sources are:
• “Love Tune Ups: 52 Ways to Open Your Heart,” by Matthew McKay, et al. — how to maintain and enhance relationships with better talks, more gratitude and deeper connections.
• “Sing a Song of Seasons: A Nature Poem for Each Day of the Year,” beautifully illustrated by Fran Preston-Gannon, with poems chosen by Fiona Waters — short works ostensibly for the young but, with authors like Robert Frost, Christina Rosetti and John Updike, adults may find it as appealing as kids and grandkids do; it’s a fun one to read aloud daily, as we do in our home.
• “Words Can Change Your Brain,” by Dr. Andrew Newberg and Mark R. Waldman — tips on how to enhance all communication with ways to discuss any topic more calmly, kindly and effectively.
• “Letters of Note, Volumes I and II,” compiled by Shaun Usher — great for fans of history, literature, music and pop culture; roughly 125 engaging letters by the famous and infamous, like Elvis Presley, Albert Einstein, Emily Dickinson, Amelia Earhart, Jackie Robinson and John F. Kennedy, each with editor’s comments.
• “Then Sings My Soul: 150 Hymn Stories of Note,” by Robert Morgan — one-page hymn stories, with matching hymns; another engaging read-aloud.
• “A Quiet Mind,” by David Kuntz — one-minute, single-page retreats from a busy world, with epigrams by iconic figures and a daily action step.
Budget-friendly gifts
While time-honored gifts may work, ponder these if your wallet is thin:
• Photo — a framed, favorite portrait (or a collage) of a duo, family or any cherished person.
• Sweet treats — dark chocolates for mood-lifts or home-baked treats, like heart-shaped cakes and cookies, brownies, scones, pies or even low-calorie popcorn to eat during a fun film.
• Florals — bulbs, seeds, small bouquets or even a single rose, perhaps embedded in a green potted plant, like an easy-care golden pothos that can last for years, increase air quality and trail gracefully. Find plants at floral suppliers, home-improvement stores and even grocery stores or pharmacies.
• Magazine rack finds — a single keepsake edition or a subscription reflecting favorite interests.
• Coupons — IOU cards for future gifts, tech help, activities, dinners, date nights, trips, home-task help, child or elder care companion time, etc. Illustrate the IOU with clips from ads and publications or drawings.
• Do-it-yourself gifts — craft store items, online sites or even items from home that yield cherished handmade gifts.
• Stress-reducer — search YouTube for relaxation videos at 528 hertz, reportedly the frequency for inner calm and “repairs.” Kick back, soak in serene music, plus soothing nature scenes, and sip a fruit smoothie.
• Outdoor time — an unrushed walk, phone call, scenic drive or hike in the park (see any state’s, city’s or county’s website for an array of parks, playgrounds and recreation spots).
• Home spa — a jar candle and soothing sips to pair with the gift of an uninterrupted soak in the tub. Tip: Add a home or spa massage.
• Self-pampering — most of these can be self-care treats. Who doesn’t need some of that these days?
Low- or no-fee body, brain treats
Do online searches by name of entities below to find their websites with details:
• City, county and college libraries — a wealth of free items and services (books, films, concerts, programs and activities). Some are currently online via social media. There are even craft kits to pick up at times.
• Fitness — memberships at gyms or clubs. Varied classes free at houses of worship or low cost at community centers, senior centers, etc. (For example, Modern Maturity Center in Dover, whose fees are as low as $5 per class for yoga or tai chi. It also offers billiards and a swimming pool for fitness. Calling ahead is required).
• Health videos online — on YouTube, search for “Grow Young Fitness” or generic topics, like yoga, relaxation, mindfulness, five-minute meditation (add search terms like age, ability level, etc.)
• “The Great Courses” — classes on numerous topics at your pace and time (online, on social media, etc.) for varied fees, with frequent discounts.
• University of Delaware’s Osher Lifelong Learning Institute — Zoom courses ready to start now on a vast array of topics (e.g., history, world languages, world religions, music) offered by Delaware instructors (modest fees).
• Meditation and spiritual groups — most free online.
Heart wish
With this article comes a happy Valentine’s Day wish for each reader and also for all those who need our caring words, deeds, resources and reasons for hope — whether they are the isolated elder, the recovering person or the homeless family down the street.
May we take a cue from the song “Put a Little Love in Your Heart,” so that this Valentine’s Day, we are creating “works of heart” right where we are. Let’s bloom where we are planted.
Patricia C. Thompson is a retired educator, a college adjunct professor and volunteer instructor with the University of Delaware’s Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. She resides
