I am writing to ask for help for myself and people like me. Let me explain. In 2014, I was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. In fact, I have had two rounds of two different kinds of lymphoma.
And in my case, I had an 80% chance of remission. So I went ahead and did multiple rounds of chemotherapy and other cancer treatments. But the treatments were brutal.
I’m allergic to just about every painkiller they’ve ever tried on me, any kind of Percodan, OxyContin, oxycodone or morphine. I hallucinate and become violently ill.
There were points during chemo when I didn’t know my name, or I couldn’t write it. I lost more than 10% of my weight. It was a complete loss of quality of life, independence and autonomy.
Fortunately, my cancer is currently in remission. But should it return, as my doctors are concerned that it will, and I receive a prognosis of six months or less to live, I want the full range of end-of-life care options, including “medical aid in dying.” Medical aid in dying gives terminally ill adults the option to request a prescription for medication they may decide to take to peacefully end their suffering.
I want to avoid the last and worst part of the dying process I know I will experience. To face it, I need the option of medical aid in dying. It defies basic fairness and logic that terminally ill Delawareans on one side of the Delaware River don’t have the same option to die peacefully as New Jerseyans on the other side of the river do. That’s why I am among the 72% of Delaware voters across the geographic, political and racial spectrum who, according to GBAO Strategies research, support the Ron Silverio/Heather Block End of Life Options Act that would provide terminally ill adults in Delaware the option of medical aid in dying.
My loved ones support me and want me to have the help I want. My son says: “Mom, whatever you want and whatever you need, we’re here for you.”
I may not use this option. Hospice may be enough to ease my end-of-life suffering, and if that’s the case, then I will be grateful. I am asking for help so I won’t suffer needlessly. I don’t want my loved ones to suffer. And I don’t want to simply be an object of care. I want to be involved in living up to the very end.
The option of medical aid in dying is not about giving up on life. Instead, it allows people like me to have more full and more active and more good days, while more fully involved in life. I don’t want to die fearfully. I want to die affirming the fact that I’ve had this opportunity to be alive in this amazing world and to say goodbye and I love you to my family and friends.
Being able to know that I can make my own decisions about my end-of-life care animates my life and gives me the sense of well-being and security that allows me to appreciate my life every single day.
Unfortunately, Delaware lawmakers failed to pass the Ron Silverio/Heather Block End of Life Options Act before the 2021 legislative session ended June 30. They have an obligation to their terminally ill constituents to pass this compassionate legislation in 2022.
Judith Govatos is former executive director of The Arc of Delaware. She lives in Wilmington.
