Roof: Some background facts about human composting

As seems to be Delaware tradition, on the last day of the current legislative session, there will be an “all-nighter,” as lawmakers attempt to get bills passed that could have been done during regular sessions had they not frittered time away on innocuous matters. One such candidate is the passage of the human-composting bill.

Not to downplay that choice for the trip into the great beyond for anyone but is that the most important thing to be spending time on? And now that it’s done, must lies and misconceptions be made about the natural process of nature?

In the Saturday edition, Sen. Laura Sturgeon, D-Woodbrook, makes a mockery of basic biology and elementary science ("Human composting as alternative to burial and cremation gets final approval by Delaware lawmakers"). There’s nothing “sophisticated” about maceration and decomposition. Farmers have used the methods for millennia. Chicken farmers know the effects of covering dead chickens with manure and hay to accelerate the decomposition of animal matter.

The false claims trying to appeal to the climate changers are especially heinous. Rotting flesh absolutely releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. If you’ve seen a bloating corpse, you know that, when the petrification process begins, dying nuclei in the cells release the carbon building blocks of every living thing. If punctured, the immediate release of methyl mercaptan, carbon dioxide and water vapor is visual, audible and, especially, smelly. Why the heavy metal mercury was even mentioned is notable. Mercury is not contained in any known embalming fluids, so the mention is simply gaslighting.

People interested in the process must be objective and pragmatic. You’re told that, upon completion, the remains will be returned to the family. That’s a serious decision that must be considered before you decide to play the game. Since bones don’t compost easily, as the calcium becomes concretelike, I presume they’ll be ground up into bone meal. Remember, we are still finding bones from creatures who lived ages ago.

Though cremains could be set on your mantle, a composted human will be the size of your La-Z-Boy recliner. This cubic yard (36-by-36-by-36 inches) of enriched potting soil will need a place in your yard. I guess you could always plant tulips over Uncle Joe’s dirt, but you’ll still have that familial tie to the dirt. When you’re gone, the contractor who builds a housing development will simply add that dirt to his pile of topsoil, and the tree you planted in it will be shredded into mulch.

Remember the part about being so much cheaper? Let’s be realistic. Today, in this economy, a basic direct cremation runs $1,000-$1,500. Operating a facility like this process requires won’t happen in an urban setting. It will task many suburban and rural areas, much like chicken houses and hog and cattle ranching do, simply for the smell carried on prevailing winds. (I’m sure it can be compartmentalized but at a far greater cost.) Such a facility won’t be cheap, and the operators aren’t living off your benevolence; they expect to be reimbursed by you.

Remember, all that smells isn’t roses.

George Roof

Magnolia

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