Letter to the Editor: The story behind one mother’s late-term abortion
It broke my heart to end my pregnancy at seven months — but it was the right thing to do.
In 2005, I begged and pleaded for an answer to “Why my baby girl? Why her? Why me?”
In 2022, I got my answer: My daughter’s purpose has been to educate.
In September 2005, I was seven months pregnant. I went in for a routine ultrasound, expecting nothing major or abnormal.
Instead, I learned my daughter had thanatophoric dysplasia type 2, a rare condition that causes numerous skeletal deformities and is almost always fatal. If you’re not familiar with it — and very few people are — Google it but be warned that it’s horrible.
As much as I wanted my daughter to be OK, nothing I did, nothing anyone did could make that so. I refused to torture my newborn with IVs and intubation only to have her die of suffocation in spite of any and all intervention. The cold, hard fact is that this condition results in death in nearly every instance.
Thanatophoric dysplasia is not a genetically inherited condition because no one with it lives long enough to pass it down. It’s a random, unpredictable mutation.
I was living in Washington state at the time, so I was able to choose to give my daughter peace. As long as she stayed inside me, she was comfortable and contented. A potassium chloride injection in the umbilical cord, and my baby girl never had to have an IV placed. No wires, no instinctual panic that comes with the lack of oxygen, just peace.
No one who is seven months pregnant just decides they have changed their mind and do not want to give birth.
My daughter was already named, her baby book had entries, her sister’s baby clothes were pulled out in preparation. In short, we were very ready for her. It just wasn’t meant to be.
I’m so thankful to the University of Washington Medical Center for their care, especially the doctor who, with all the delicateness in the world, educated me about my daughter’s diagnosis, explained my options and guided me through every step. The entire maternity floor staff was impeccable. As for our registered nurse, I don’t have words for the compassion she demonstrated, volunteering to stay by my side overnight.
I’m not ashamed. I never was, and I never will be. Quite the opposite, as matter of fact — I’m proud I could make a decision for my daughter that tore my heart to pieces but that I knew was best for her.
I am grateful I had the option to end the pregnancy early, to be merciful rather than put my daughter through a gauntlet of tests and treatment that would, in the end, fail to save her life anyway.
My heart goes out to the women who, right now, are having to contemplate something similar but live in a state where abortion is now banned. My story illustrates why abortion prohibitions are not only wrong, they are counterproductive.
The next time you hear someone advocating for an abortion ban or criticizing “late-term abortions,” I hope you will remember my baby girl.
Heather Hamill
Wilmington
