John Kane is a commissioner on the Delaware LGBTQ+ Commission.
With summer fast approaching — and with it, Pride — I hope we can all take a moment to reflect on the transformative power of living openly and authentically. Let’s pause to consider what it means to build community and the limitless capacity we have to love. These three objectives — authenticity, community and love — are deeply intertwined, and all are essential to creating a world where everyone can thrive.
In today’s political climate, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by a constant barrage of attacks on marginalized communities. Each day seems to bring new headlines targeting LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, people of color and other vulnerable populations. It’s tempting to retreat into despair, to let the weight of it all pull us into a spiral of hopelessness. But now, more than ever, is the time to resist that pull. Now is the time to rise above the noise of hate and reaffirm our collective strength, resilience and capacity for love.
What is community?
“Community” means more than a collection of individuals. It’s a network of people bound by shared experiences, values, identities or simply the will to support one another. Community can form through geography, shared struggles, faith, culture, gender or sexual orientation. At its best, community is a refuge — a place where we find safety, solidarity and a sense of belonging.
But community can also be complicated. For those who feel excluded, who are made to feel like outsiders, community can be intimidating, even painful. I know that reality all too well.
Growing up as a closeted gay kid in a small rural town during the ’80s and ’90s was, to put it mildly, less than ideal. People like me were not welcome. I spent years in denial, trying to fit into communities that never truly felt like home — sports teams, school clubs and even religious spaces. Something was always missing. Looking back now, I realize that what was missing wasn’t just acceptance — it was me.
It wasn’t until college that I finally allowed myself to accept who I was. It wasn’t until I stopped hiding that I found community — a place where I could belong, where I could breathe. That experience didn’t mean I suddenly became friends with everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. Friends and community are not the same thing. Friends offer a deep, personal connection. Community offers belonging, purpose and a shared sense of identity. Both are important, but they serve different roles in our lives.
The brilliant bell hooks once wrote:
“Community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation — by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world.”
When I stopped hiding, I was able to claim my identity fully. I became part of a community that accepted and affirmed me. I found the sense of belonging that my soul had been craving. If you’re reading this, please know: You are part of my community. We may not know each other personally, but your worth, your dignity and your value matter to me — and to all of us.
Why Pride matters
That is why Pride is so essential. Pride is not just a party or a parade — it’s a declaration of our right to exist, to love and to thrive. It’s a celebration of our shared humanity and the communities we’ve built together. Pride renews our souls and reminds us that we are worthy of one another’s love and support.
So, I implore you: Live openly. Live authentically. Even when it feels hard. Even when it feels dangerous. Your community is here to catch you, to lift you up when you stumble and to remind you that you are not alone. Together, we have an infinite capacity to love — and it is that love that gives us the power to fight back against hate, fear and injustice.
Let’s use Pride as a time to lift each other up, to celebrate the beauty of our diversity and to stand shoulder-to-shoulder in support of all Delawareans. Together, we can rise above the forces that seek to divide us — and build a world where everyone is free to live, love and belong.
Happy Pride.
Reader reactions, pro or con, are welcomed at civiltalk@iniusa.org.
