LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Of political platitudes, platypuses and irony

I don’t care if Melania Trump has a college degree because I do not think you need one to be a model or a wife, but the education industry encourages the most worthless of degree programs that they’ll probably invent one eventually. Nor do I care if she can speak five languages; I’m just happy she seems reasonably fluent in English, which is saying rather much, considering some immigrants to this country. I’m not voting for her. I said that about Hillary Clinton when her husband ran for president all those years ago. I happened to have rather liked President Clinton, although I could never much abide by his wife and the whole cigar thing. Regarding Melania’s supposed plagiarism of Michelle Obama, excuse me, are those in Mrs. Clinton’s corner trying to say that the platitudes Melania was employing were copyrighted material? I somehow suspect the comments Melania made in her speech date back long before Dolly Madison all the way to the Grand Dam (grandmother) of Platypuses. I say leave Melania alone; at least, she’s trying to do her job as a possible First Lady. The qualifications of the anticipated position are “stand there and look pretty.” I think Melania has been doing a bang-up job of that, which is a talent Hillary Clinton never cultivated. Does that mean Melania is smarter than Hillary Clinton? Now, on to really important issues to female voters, such as what the players are wearing this blood-letting season. Are Mrs. Clinton’s supporters annoyed by Melania’s physique, or do they have something against white clothing? Truly, surgical green would be more appropriate, don’t you think? I’ve known since I was a little girl that a woman in the public eye should never wear white because all the best paramours did; e.g., Madame Pompadour and Josephine of France, just to name two. In the spirit of fairness, I can’t leave anyone unscathed. White dress with ridiculous cuffs aside, Melania makes Hillary look like she shops at Grandma’s Thrift Store. I know it can’t be a question of money, considering how much has been donated to the Clintons by Middle Eastern potentates. I can’t criticize Michelle Obama’s wardrobe, because she does a bang-up job of hiding those thighs that Mrs. Clinton lets hang out there for the whole world to see. Mrs. Clinton’s wardrobe needs major surgery because I don’t think she’s done an update since she tossed the headbands and collegiate tweed. I suppose she’s going for that trustworthy “Mom” look so many women of an age do. I think she needs to study a few pages from Margaret Thatcher’s pattern book. You can dress your age, be comfortable and fashionable, as well as appear professional at the same time. Tell me, are out-of-season pastels and knits the female politician’s equivalent of rolled-up shirt sleeves and Grandpa jeans? While continuing to stand there and look good, Melania needs to put some color into her closet and Mrs. Clinton needs to put on an ensemble suitable for the job she is seeking.

Carol Hotte Felton