By Detective Joey Melvin
A 2017 Nielsen report found that 45% of U.S. children between ages 10-12 had their own smartphones. Data also shows that 90% of children ages 8-16 have been exposed to online pornography. Those statistics might have parents running to take away that phone, thereby inflicting what those children would describe as “ruining their lives.” Yet, in my experience, a parent taking a child’s phone is a rare occurrence.
I have worked in schools as a resource officer since 2010 and subsequently witnessed the technological growth of smartphones and online social media platforms. While I can testify to the potential for positivity of technology, I can also give countless examples of its dangers.
The recent death of a 12-year-old boy in Oklahoma due to a dangerous online “challenge” has again brought to light the dark side of social media influence. Challenges on social media are not new, and as they recirculate, so does the ability to engage with new generations. Combining a child’s dependence on the “feeling” part of their brain with peer pressures and social media influencers is the perfect storm for engaging in dangerous online activity. Children’s desire for “likes” and “shares” parallels feeding a drug or alcohol addiction. Responses to a post generate a dopamine-like hit for the child, thus fueling the need for more avenues to feed the addiction.
As parents, we cannot rely only on cellphone companies and social media applications to change their business models to protect our children, but we can and should rely on our own responsibility as parents to provide close supervision of our children’s online and social media activities.
One question I often pose to a parent is this: Does your child truly need a cellphone? At the least, I suggest that a young child may not need a smartphone. Dig out that old phone that can only make calls and texts but remove the ability for unrestricted access to social media.
In my 19-plus years in law enforcement, I do not believe I’ve ever won this argument. That said, parents can still implement practices with their children to enhance safety in a digital world. For example, the nonprofit Digital Futures Initiative (dfinow.org) developed what it refers to as G.R.I.T.
G.R.I.T. is necessary for children before they are allowed to be on social media platforms due to the changes in children’s emotions, behaviors and social interactions:
Always remember that digital platforms are designed to:
Be frank with your child about all online activity. Discussing the dangers is a great starting place. Conversations regarding your child’s current online activity should be consistent and ongoing. Expect that every application includes the ability to communicate messages and share images and videos. Review privacy settings and explore child-safety applications that could be utilized to monitor digital activity.
Numerous resources exist to help parents on the difficult journey of educating, protecting and harboring positive digital cultures with their children. Here are a few:
Joey Melvin is an instructor for the National Association of School Resource Officers and a detective/school resource officer with the Georgetown Police Department. He has spent more than 19 years in law enforcement and was formerly deputy director of Delaware’s Comprehensive School Safety Plan. He currently serves as
