Cards, candy, flowers, and dinner out — all classic ways to honor family and friends in February.

Yet with the cascade of challenges since COVID reared its spiky red head, many also seek something else — ways to address the intense stress, burnout, lifestyle upheaval, and even PTSD surrounding those who have worked tirelessly during these turbulent times.

This article is intended as a genuine “thank-you” — a virtual “box of chocolates” with a sampling of self-care practices, tips and resources.

At the end are references that inform this article plus resources curated from professionals and everyday people who have named their best “go to” books and sources for uplift, best practices, fresh insights — even gift ideas for self or others.

Salient questions

How do we nurture those who are healers, service providers, tireless workers at home, office or that now-needful “home office”?

Ana Rodriquez, Ph.D., a N.Y. clinical psychologist and founder of the Self-Care Practice says, “There’s so much pressure on us that now more than ever it’s important that we support ourselves, especially if we have limited external supports.”

That applies to those in the mental health field as well as to clients and anyone who has been “in the trenches.”

Personal checklist

To determine self-care needs, using a daily checklist can be helpful. An Internet search also yields a robust “wheel of life” option or Rebecca McLean and Roger Jahnke’s Circle of Life — a life coaching process. Many counselors and coaches offer services online these days for individuals and groups (on Zoom, Skype, tel-med or video chat) as well as in-person sessions.

While many holistic wellness needs are best addressed by professionals, self-awareness and self-care through skillful daily habits and practices still remain vital for most. However, nothing shared in this article should modify or replace what health care professionals have planned or prescribed for a client.

Self-questions

This is one set of check-in questions to start the day and to explore aspects of holistic wellness. Some like to print them for regular use.

o GRATITUDE: For what am I grateful today?

o CONNECTION: Who am I connecting with and checking on today?

o CURRENT MOMENT: How am I living in the present, not dwelling in the past or fretting about the future?

o ACCEPTANCE: What am I letting go of or accepting today for my betterment?

o OUTSIDE: How am I getting outdoors into nature today?

o MOTION: How am I weaving appropriate movement into my day (e.g., walking, yoga, body practices for my status and life stage)?

o AESTHETICS, ARTS: What beauty am I noticing, creating, or bringing in today?

o RESOURCES: How am I sharing/managing my abilities and resources today?

o INSIGHT: Where am I finding inspiration and wise insights today (readings, mentors, spiritual guidance, etc.)?

o LIFE-BALANCE: How am I balancing my life among attention to others, self-care, and work + obligations today?

o INTAKE: What am I consuming and adding to my environment to enhance health and wellness? What toxics am I avoiding?

o BREATH, BREAKS: Am I breathing effectively and doing the three corrections (erect posture, proper breathing, effective mindset) at several pre-set intervals during the day? (Dr. Roger Jahnke)

o PLAY, LAUGHTER: How am I making space for fun, creativity, and humor today – both on my own and with those special to me?

o QUIETUDE: How am I creating quiet time and/or observing mindfulness or meditating? (Jon Kabat-Zinn)

o TO ADD: What is my own priority need or question?

Checklist expanded from a post by an Episcopalian church, St. Louis.

After doing a checklist or wheel of life self-assessment, note your priority need – your key area for change or improvement. Consider these to help achieve it:

If written in SMART form, a goal more easily becomes a reality. TIP: Do action steps in small daily steps as an appointment on your personal calendar. Write the goal to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound (with a target completion date). (SMART goal templates – Internet & Santa Clara University)

Choose a realistic horizon. Example: I will declutter the basement and remove debris by four weeks from now (list date) so I can enjoy a better environment and recreation space/

Celebrate the small mini-successes each week.

Often having a supportive accountability partner or checking in with a skillfully-guided, non-judgmental guide or group can help in attaining goals and reducing isolation or low mood. Note the many anonymous groups (e.g., AA, NA, GA and more) that have supported thousands with cessation (alcohol, narcotics, smoking, gambling, cluttering). Meeting in person or virtually, many free or low fee groups exist – for meditation, health conditions, bereavement, friendship, fitness, caregiving, etc. Local libraries, parks and recreation, and centers for government, military, social services and parks/recreation are hubs of information. They know local programs and often offer free or low-fee ones.

Steadily welcoming newcomers are houses of faith and worship, senior centers, hospital wellness centers, art and music schools, university senior learning programs, and community colleges.

Habit energy triumphs

To overcome the habit energy of being overwhelmed or alone for some may mean taking an initial micro-step– a few inquiries, trying out one practice, visiting one group, finding the right book, reference or YouTube channel to light the way. (See list at end.)

One thing is certain: When we work together, we are much greater than the sum of our parts.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” The answer?

Synergy energy: I am convinced that if we can start with essential self-care and then add even one daily random act of kindness, we will sense a surge of positive, new energy for all.

References

These eclectic recommendations were curated from professionals, colleagues and everyday people. Many you can “test drive” at local libraries.

• “Atomic Habits”- James Clear (how small change and habits add up to major successes)

• “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,” also “The Four Seasons of “Marriage”- Gary Chapman

• “Getting the LoveYou Want: A Guide for Couples”- Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

• “How NOT to be a Hot Mess: A Survival Guide for Modern Life” – Craig & Devon Hase

• “Quiet Mind: One-Minute Retreats from a Busy World” - David Kuntz (366 brief daily reads with literary twists, action steps)

• “You’ll Never Walk Alone” – Publications International (daily vibrant color images with Biblical quote and comment)

• “The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life’s Direction and Purpose”- Oprah Winfrey

• “At Home in the Whole Food Kitchen,” Amy Chaplin (celebrating the art of eating well)

• “The Power of Eight: Harnessing the Energies of a Small Group to Heal Others, Your Life, and the World” - Lynne McTaggart

• “The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief” - Francis Weller

• “The Poetry Pharmacy”- William Sieghart, compiler (each poem a prescription for heart, mind, soul)

• “The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh”- by same (practical ways to daily peace, calm)

• “Words Can Change Your Brain”-Andrew Newberg, M.D. & Mark Waldman (“how to” book on effective, caring communication with brain function research)

• “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought: A Book for People with any Life-Threatening Illness...Including Life” -John-Roger & Peter McWilliams

• “Clutter Junkie No More”– Barb Rogers

• “Happiness the Mindful Way: Practical Guide” – with Ken A.Verni, Psy.D.

• “Making Peace with Your Past”– Harold Bloomfield, M.D.

• “The Healer Within”- Dr. Roger Jahnke (using movement, meditation, massage, breath work to promote self-healing)

• “The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times”-Pema Chodron

• Works of Jon Kabat-Zinn, U.S. pioneer of mindfulness, MBSR or mindfulness-based stress reduction (any of countless works)

Gifts, daily reads, new looks

• “Dear Master: Letters of a Slave Family,” Randall M. Miller, Ph.D. (former Dover resident, American history scholar, prof. emeritus of St. Joseph’s Univ.)

• “Letters of Note: Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience” -vol. 1 & 2 - Shaun Usher, ed. (actual letters by the famous, infamous, and just plain folks)

• “Letters from the Lost Generation: Gerald & Sara Murphy and Friends” including the Hemingways, other authors – Linda P. Miller, Ph.D. (former Dover resident, Hemingway scholar, Penn State professor)

• “100 Things to Do in Delaware …” -- Rachel Kipp & Dan Shortbridge

“Sing a Song of Seasons: A Nature Poem for Each Day of the Year” - Fiona Waters with Frann Preston-Gannon, illus. (a winner for tiny tykes to adults; vibrant art with short poems by authors new or noted)

• CATALOG: Whole Person Associates-- publisher of resources for handling life’s challenges and enhancing mental wellness for all life stages.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Pat Thompson has been an educator in Delaware’s public schools and in higher education. She has also studied counseling plus holistic life/wellness coaching and writes regularly.