By Craig Horleman

MAGNOLIA — Jessica Moyer is out to prove that if she can do it, you can, too.

In her new book, “Triumph Through the Tears: Finding Hope and Purpose Through Loss,” she offers a candid look into the use of five intrinsic tools to improve one’s mind-set and tangible ways to turn pain into purpose. The book guides readers in improving their mental and physical health, while navigating the difficult and seemingly lonely times of grief.

The Magnolia resident knows the harsh reality of grief firsthand. Her infant son died in 2001. That was quickly followed by two miscarriages and then the loss of her father a few years later.

“This was all in a four-year period. So just by sharing my story and being very real and vulnerable, I share what the tools were that really helped me to get through the loss and not just survive, but I’d like to consider it thriving, through life now.”

Her darkest days came when her then-4-month-old son, Steven, was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called spinal muscular atrophy, and the family was told he wouldn’t live past a year based on his condition. SMA is characterized by weakness and wasting in muscles used for movement.

“There are four different types. My son had Type 1, which is the worst. I compare it to Lou Gehrig’s disease in infants,” Ms. Moyer said.

“I never had heard of it. My dad, who was a physician, had never heard of it. It’s literally just a missing protein that causes it.

“The problem was, back years ago, spinal muscular atrophy was being lumped in with muscular dystrophy because it falls into that family. And so, even though it existed, you don’t find what you’re not looking for, and then when you hear something, you’re going to search it out.”

Ms. Moyer said she and her husband, Jason, were shocked to learn that they were both carriers for the disease.

“We had no idea. We’d never heard of it. We didn’t do any of the prenatal testing back then to even see. You could test for cystic fibrosis and a bunch of other things. But now, they do have testing actually for SMA in most states,” she said.

“One in 40 people are carriers, so it’s similar to cystic fibrosis (in that respect). My husband and I are both carriers, and then, if you’re both carriers, you have a chance to pass it on to your child one out of four times. So kind of a roll of the dice, like a lot of different genetic conditions,” Ms. Moyer said.

Steven passed away at 9 months old.

“We had hospice for him, and we kept him home. My husband was in the military at the time, and it was literally two weeks after Sept. 11 that (Steven) was diagnosed. We were worried that (Mr. Moyer) was going to be deployed. He was in the Army. Fortunately, they kept him home. But it’s amazing how quickly your worries can turn into something way more severe in your own life,” said Ms. Moyer.

After Steven’s death, she and her husband started a group to help families going through the pain of having a child diagnosed with SMA, raising almost $2.5 million for research.

“Because my husband was in the military there — we lived in Maryland — there’s a chapter that existed there, and the moms that were in that chapter really helped me through my journey and kind of encouraged me to kind of work through the grief,” Ms. Moyer said.

In the book, she gives tips to make that leap from grief to growth.

“I’m sure there are things that we probably do and don’t realize it. But over the past few years, I kind of thought, ‘Well, these are the five Gs that I’ve used.’ It’s generosity — being able to help others. Just being able to help others on their journey and hopefully find a cure and treatments now for this disease. It’s very impressive to see that in my lifetime,” she said.

“Gratitude is just being grateful for even the smallest things in life. When you’re going through traumatic events, you kind of lose sight of things that we truly are blessed with. Growth is just constantly seeking out new things. I received my Ziglar Legacy certification and a John Maxwell certification (both in life coaching), just to really gain more tools to not just help myself but to pour into others. Grit to me is the key to survival. It’s being able to get up after you’ve been pushed down several times.

“Grace is allowing yourself to forgive or recognizing that there’s going to be really traumatic times in life and there are some days that are going to be harder than others and just being able to recognize that and then work through those emotions,” she added.

Ms. Moyer — who now has three other children, Isobel, 21; Blaise, 17; and Jake, 14 — said the book was the fulfillment of a longtime dream.

“It’s always been on my heart to write it, and I just never really put pen to paper. I’ve had a lot of thoughts over the years. I always had a goal before I was 50 to write this book. And then, last year when the quarantine happened, I had just literally completed the Ziglar Legacy certification, and a part of that was your goal setting for the year, not having any idea what was to come,” she said.

“But one of my goals was to write my book and to publish it. I’m pretty goal-oriented to begin with. And so once quarantine happened, I found this Book Bound (by the Sea) one-month program, where it just gave you the goals each week on writing, and so I joined that, and then, I put the pen down for a while because I was just a little overwhelmed, I think, with the whole experience, and reliving it was pretty tough because there’s a lot that I pushed down.

“And then, I hired a publisher (New Vibe Press) this past December,” she continued. “And once I hired the publisher, I was like, ‘All right, I put in my money, now I’ve got to finish this.’ So I just completed it, and it’s now on sale on Amazon. So it’s pretty cool.”

She said she’s been gratified by the response so far.

“Every day, I’m getting feedback, and people are just really impressed with my story, and I’ve gotten some really good feedback, so it’s nice. It’s nice to hear. You certainly don’t get rich from writing a book. My purpose was to help others and really to leave a legacy for my children,” she said.

The book can be ordered here.