Gambling can be fun, and it’s also everywhere. We can find games of chance everywhere: lottery tickets at the store, bingo games on a weekly basis, gambling websites and apps, and several …
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By Laura WalterGambling can be fun, and it’s also everywhere. We can find games of chance everywhere: lottery tickets at the store, bingo games on a weekly basis, gambling websites and apps, and several casinos on the Delmarva Peninsula.
The problem comes when it becomes compulsive. It turns into a persistent pull toward each game and begins impacting a person’s finances, health or relationships.
All ages can experience this issue, both as a gambler or as a loved one witnessing a problem. So the Delaware Council on Gambling Problems provides help, including a 24-hour hotline.
“We are gambling-neutral. We are not for or against gambling. We are just here to support gambling addiction,” emphasized Steve Gonzer, director of downstate services.
It’s a nonprofit health agency, which receives funding from the Delaware Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health.
“We’re made up of caring individuals who have real, firsthand experience with problem gambling,” the website explains.
Indeed, one person described how being married to gambler caused them to lose their house and suffer tens of thousands of dollars in debt—which really makes this job a “passion project.”
“Some of the children, grandchildren notice that their grandparents have issues and don’t know how to address them,” so they call for help, Gonzer said.
Here’s how a senior’s gaming hobby can turn into a gambling problem. Here’s a hypothetical situation: “Grandma and grandpa need something to do. Maybe grandma’s on her own. If I want go someplace by myself and have a drink, I’m not gonna go to a bar—that’s not comfortable,” said Jude Harlan, a prevention specialist. “But at the casino, you see the security, there’s always people around to talk to. I might create a little community for myself of people I see there regularly, because it feels safe.” Plus, casinos are designed to keep endorphins rushing in our brains: the free stuff, the good food and the rush of gaming. “It’s exciting: the machine goes off, the people are participating around you,” Harlan said. “It’s a way to keep you there, keep you playing … and the time just passes by.”
“It really fills a void for a lot of seniors,” especially, when they’re acclimating to major changes, like a new home, a new hometown, or the loss of a spouse, said Gonzer.
Not everyone will develop a gambling addiction—some people can buy a lottery ticket, or play their $20 in slots, and go home.
The problem is when gambling disrupts your personal, family or work life. “For someone whose brain is wired for addiction, it can be deadly … absolutely,” Gonzer emphasized.
A person could lose their entire Social Security check in about five minutes. The Council receives phone calls from adult children worried that their senior parents can’t pay for food, clothing or health care because the money’s been spent.
If left untreated, problem gambling can lead to compulsive acts, financial ruin, legal problems, loss of career and family—and if a person really feels trapped, that can lead to shame, depression and even suicide.
“I compare it to diabetes. Sometimes people don’t know they have it until it impacts them in some way,” Gonzer said. “It’s a disease. It’s not curable, but it’s manageable. [For seniors,] when I compare it to diabetes, they wake up.”
Problem gambling is characterized by the following symptoms:
So where is the hope?
First, groups like the Delaware Council on Gambling Problems are here to help. They raise public awareness that gambling disorders do exist, and have consequences, but are treatable.
They also provide treatment to problem gamblers and their families—including counseling sessions and a 24-hour hotline that is free and anonymous.
“Connection—that’s the cure,” said Harlan. “The opposite of addiction is connection, in my mind. I think people are looking for community. As human beings, we want to be part of a group … and when people turn to gambling or alcohol or drugs, a lot of times it’s because they were missing connection.”
That means finding healthier ways to find community. Some people find a church, a community center, a volunteer group, a hobby, activism or something else.
“But you have to make that effort to stay connected,” Harlan said. “It’s important to have community while recovering.”
If you or a loved one might have a gambling problem, it’s never too early—or too late—for anyone to ask for help.
